O.E. | Loving Day


Thu, 03/13/2014 - 8:42pm -- oliviaerika
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United States

At beginning of this year, I met my boyfriend who is black. I am white, and when I first met him I didn't even notice his race. But when I told my mother I wanted to date this boy, the first thing she asked was if he was black. Once she asked that, I knew what was about to unfold. When I said yes, she sternly said to me, "Why black? You can date white,Asian,Indian, or whatever! Just not black!". She also suggested that I transfer to a school with more white people in it. I was made to feel ashamed and guilty for liking someone of the black race. I cried for days, and my mother snickered at me and told me I was "feeling sorry for myself over a stupid boy". This boy, is no stupid boy, he is a young man with good morals and does well in school. I felt so disappointed in my mother for being so negative and ignorant. The way my mother shamed me for liking him made me lose hope. I started to not even feel anything for him, or anyone at all. I felt tired and ready to give up. But, this boy lifted me up from that. He told me not to give up on us, to smile whenever she tried to make me feel bad. It's been two months since we started secretly dating. He has been my first kiss. We hold hands when we walk in the halls at school. Other students don't even care and treat us as a normal couple. One of my teachers brightly smiled when he saw us together. That made us feel really good. I am trying my best to keep myself from falling into shame and despair over my mother's bigotry and racism. I am preparing myself for the day that I can stand up to my mother and speak to her without tears in my eyes or a shaky voice. I will not let my happiness be ruined by her ways. I hope that all will eventually go well for us as a couple and we can finally be allowed to go on an actual date and go to each other's family gatherings.